Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

2fearfullyandwonderfullyThis is not a story I tell often, the reason is that I get frowns and questions that I can’t exactly answer, so it’s easier to not tell it at all.

I have two grown sons, they are fraternal twins, but they were a work of God from the very beginning. Over 22 years ago I was not feeling well for several days, but we were supposed to travel to Oklahoma in October to help my sister-in-law move back here. We headed out, but food and I were not getting along. We reached our destination packed my SIL up and enjoyed a day or two of visiting. While we were there I got what I thought was my monthly cycle, but it was horrendous cramps and only lasted a day (no details it’s a bit gory) which was unusual for me. We returned home and life resumed its natural progression.

November came; I was fairly regular with my cycle so when it didn’t show up on or even close to my time I went to the drug store. Two EPTs later (I didn’t believe the first one) I realized I was pregnant. My husband and I had pretty much decided that children were not in our future. I was a cervical cancer survivor and wasn’t sure I could have children and we were content just to be us. That old adage, “Man plans, God laughs” most certainly applies to us. At my three-month checkup I said to my ob/gyn, “Are you sure there is only one baby in there because I am already in maternity clothes and I have almost popped?” The doctor assured me that because I did not have any of the markers for a multiple pregnancy that there had to be only one, “Besides we only hear one heartbeat, no matter where we place the Doppler.” Back then they didn’t do ultrasounds early on you waited until your 20th week.

Shortly before I was 20 weeks another doctor in the practice measured my fundus and with wide eyes told me that I was pretty big. She called and got me in with the ultrasound doctor that day. My husband is a former Army Ranger with the 101st Airborne, he was a big bad Army man and at that ultrasound I swore he was going to  pass out, because the untrasound doc decided to play a little joke on us (mostly my husband as I could see the screen better than he could). “Oh look there’s one head, there’s two, oh look, three, oh my maybe four!” My husband went pale white! When the doc saw this he yelled, “No no no there’s only two!” We were having twins! I wanted to punch the first doctor I the nose and say, “See I told you I was awfully big!”

I had a rough time carrying the boys and wound up on complete bedrest for the last 13 weeks of my pregnancy. But the part that we don’t discuss often is that at each ultrasound after 20 weeks the boys measured significantly different. Baby “B” was measuring 3 weeks older than Baby “A”. I delivered at what they assumed was 36 weeks, Baby “A” weighed in at 5lbs even and Baby “B” weighed a whopping 6lbs 14oz. Upon further scrutiny it was found that Baby “B” had been part of a set of twins for which I miscarried one and then became pregnant with Baby “A”.  This is not something that happens often in multiple pregnancies. I always was a bit of an overachiever. Baby “B” had to stay in the NICU for a week, but Baby “A” came home with me on the 4th of July. We had no idea what we were in store for, but He certainly did.

My boys birth story is only one example of God working in their lives. There is so much more to their story and maybe I will be able to tell it as I go.

Moving Part 2

boxes-2120367_1920There are so many things that I want to write about, but the fact that we are moving seems to be looming large. When we first decided to start looking we didn’t think that it would almost become a run away train.

It all began as a whim of mine looking at some homes that were being built about 20 minutes from where we live. Right now we live in a 1300 square foot house which we have been in for 17 years. Our boys have always shared a room and our home is a bit closed off. When we bought the house we never thought we would be here 17 years later, but here we are. When we truly examined moving out of the town we lived in it made sense. We have a little bit of debt we could wipe out with the equity, we could get a little larger home and the boys could have their own rooms. Most homes today have open floor plans so we could quite possibly have friends over for dinner. So we forged ahead.

We thought we were prayerfully moving ahead with each step, but so many road blocks appeared it seemed that it would never come to fruition. Our house sold almost immediately, but then came the inspection. The inspector was really nit picky and we wound up having to fix a problem that didn’t really exist and one that did. In the meantime because the buyer drug her feet we lost two other houses that we had put bids in on. So we came down to the wire and we finally settled on a house, but oh boy! The seller of our new home didn’t disclose a seriously potential issue until after we had seen the sellers disclosure form. When we told our realtor that it wasn’t acceptable the seller then came back with all sorts of paperwork, inspections and apologies saying no deception was intended. This was a problem for us because the sellers had also played a game with us about the price of the home wanting far more than the home was worth or other specs in the area were selling for. Everything eventually worked out in the end, but now we are trying to figure out how to move out of our house and into a new house in a months time, settle on the same day and have my husband work 12 hour days along with my inability to lift heavy things. I knw that it will all come together, but this journey has been anything, but easy.

I have learned through all this that I still have the ability to react instead of respond. That just because you think you are praying in His will, you may not be, and the big one that Satan really is looking to take you out any way that he can.

Apparently I have to pond the scripture Philippians 4:6-7, “ Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” and remember to do Phil. 4:8-9, “.”

 

Revisiting Addiction

myburdenislight.pngI came across an article written addressed to “The Girl Asking Us to Stop Calling Your Drug Addiction A Disease“. The essence of the article was for this girl to stop asking for this and that the author was going to “educate” people on how addiction is in fact a disease.  Mostly, according to the author, because it is incredibly offensive to call addiction a choice not a disease.

My first reaction was, “Oh no let’s not offend the addict! Heaven forbid we should offend them to the point of anger and quite possibly some personal introspection. No we wouldn’t want to do that!” It’s this kind of pussyfooting around that has gotten us to the point where we have an “epidemic” of heroin use, thousands of people with multiple rehab stays and a generation that thinks that drug use is just part of their growing up. The author who is female serves up excuse after excuse for addicts stating that they cannot control themselves and would not choose this life therefore it’s a disease excuse as many others have, ineffectively in my opinion.

Her first volley to try to destroy the argument that addiction is a choice is to quote the National Institute of Drug Abuse stating that drug addiction is, “a chronic, relapsing brain disease that is characterized by compulsive drug seeking and use, despite harmful consequences.” So let me get this straight, I have to actively seek drugs out and then ingest them to have this disease? Uh huh, ok. It goes on to state that, “It is considered a brain disease because drugs change the brain—they change its structure and how it works. ” Hmmm, so I am putting something deliberately in my body and altering my brain chemistry, yet it’s a brain disease? Did NIDA even pay attention to what they were saying?  No child of two comes down with alcoholism or a 4-year-old suddenly is addicted to heroin. Yet those same children can come be found to have cancer, diabetes, MS and the list goes on. In fact I am offended by those who would lump addiction in with these documented diseases that truly were not a choice.

The next few lines in the article speaks about becoming tolerant of your drug of choice so you need more of it to get the same high and it is “seemingly impossible to break the habit.” Now I am not sure if the author was aware of her choice of words, but she demolishes her own argument with the word “habit”. Habit is defined as “an acquired behavior pattern regularly followed until it has become almost involuntary.” A behavior pattern? So you don’t necessarily have this behavior pattern till you CHOOSE it. “Almost involuntary”, we have all heard the saying that almost does not count unless it’s horse shoes or hand grenades. Almost implies that it can be done if one CHOOSES.

I agree with her next supposition that no one wakes up one day and says, “I am going to become an addict” and yes, there are several factors that come into play to create an atmosphere to become an addict, but then she again obliterates her own argument by saying that there has been speculation by psychologists and medical professionals that alcoholism runs in families. I agree with the part of the statement that it can run in families, but the likelihood that it happens in families is because that children grow up to see their parent, sister, brother, aunt, uncle and so on having a glass, or two, or three at dinner, of wine and deciding that it’s acceptable behavior and taking it a bit farther. There is no alcoholism gene, no one is born with Captain Morgan stamped on a gene in their system that creates alcoholism from birth. In that same paragraph the author then goes on to say that, some may find that drinking is a way for them to cope with other issues, such as stress or struggling with mental illness. She’s right, most addicts are looking for an escape from the problems in their world and drugs or alcohol make those problems seem very small or they go away all together. However, a person comes down off their high and the problems are still there which in turn makes the want for escape even more pressing and they indulge in even more of whatever. This is exactly where God comes in if many would just let Him, 1 Corinthians 10:13, “13 There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.” We are all tempted, we all have had many moments of wanting to escape, but the only true escape is in Him.

The author wraps up her article by stating that she wants to stigma of “oh poor me” attitudes to be done with for everyone that addiction has touched. The she goes on to assume that if addiction is a choice and we believe that we would be as heartless to tell a parent whose son or daughter died from an overdose , “well they chose it.” As a Christian woman, heck even as a human I would NEVER say that to a person who has lost a loved one, no matter the circumstances. THAT offends ME!

Her final thoughts are that we need to stop criticizing, bashing, and shame addicts, we should love and support them. I agree wholeheartedly with loving and supporting them, however that does not mean that we let their addiction become ours, or that we are ok with their sin much like we would not be ok if a person were committing adultery or murder or any other sin.

Addiction has been given a pass as a disease and rehabs that medically treat this “disease” haven’t worked so far. This is proven out by the fact that success rates are based on a person remaining indefinitely in a program. If the CDC is reporting that 91 Americans per day die of a heroin overdose, then please tell me what is working in the way that we approach this “disease” because I can’t find it?

Instead of giving addicts another way to justify their addictions, we need to point them to the only ONE who will fill the hole they are so desperately working to stuff with alcohol or drugs. Jesus is our sufficiency. We place so much on ourselves that isn’t ours to carry and then we try to stifle the noise when Jesus told us in Matthew 11:28-30, “28 Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” Alcohol and drugs have never given anyone rest, it’s never been a light load to carry, and until we stop excusing the behavior and taking an honest approach to this the load will get heavier and the burden unbearable.

So to the author of the article I hope that I have instilled in you that we most certainly need to love on and support addicts, and point them onto the road of true recovery, but writing them a blank check to explain their addiction isn’t working, but there IS another way.

 

Biblically Incorrect

bible-1960635_1920I am sure you have heard the term Politically Correct and I also sure that you know to counter that is to be Biblically correct, but do you really understand being Biblically incorrect?

To illustrate what I mean I am going to take the scenario of a business person who refuses to bake a cake, take photos, create flower displays etc. for a gay wedding. Now unless you have been living under a rock it has been hard to miss the media attention that many of these cases have been getting; to the bakers in Oregon who lost everything to the one in Colorado whose case is to be heard in the United States Supreme Court. I won’t get into the laws that are at stake here or a discussion on discrimination ( I don’t have that kind of patience), but I feel it’s important to address the Biblical issues that non-believers and believers alike have raised.

The gentleman from Colorado was on a morning TV program with his lawyer and one of the people one the panel thought she was going to bring the hammer down on this by first stating she was raised in the church and then attempting to quote pieces of scripture to make her point. Her arguments were as Christians we are not supposed to judge, and love your neighbor and it’s not our place to judge because God will ultimately judge them. If you want my hackles to be raised that argument is definitely one to make. The way it is couched makes sin ok. Jesus never said not to judge sin, but He does say in John 7:24 to judge righteously, “24 Do not judge according to appearance, but judge with righteous judgment.

There are other types of judgment that we, as humans, can get wrapped up in such as hypocritical judgment in which Matthew 7:5 cautions against, “You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.” Self righteous judgment is talked about in James 4:6, “But He gives a greater grace. Therefore it says, “God is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” But Jesus never forbade us to judge sin in fact Paul counsels Timothy in 2 Timothy 4:2 to be ready to preach the word and to be ready to point out sin, “preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort, with great patience and instruction.”

Paul continues in the book of 2 Timothy to tell Timothy that he is going to encounter those who will corrupt the gospel with false teaching or what I call Biblical incorrectness, “For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but wanting to have their ears tickled, they will accumulate for themselves teachers in accordance to their own desires, and will turn away their ears from the truth and will turn aside to myths.” Those who will pull out pieces of scripture with no context to make their point and believe that they have come up with a mic drop moment. It’s even being done by those who were “raised in the church” because we have become a soft weak society that wants to turn a blind eye to sin because it’s easier. Good gravy we can’t point out someone else’s sin, because to do that would mean we would have to examine our own hearts and ask forgiveness for our sins. Who wants to do that? It might be uncomfortable, we might need to apologize or set aside our own egos. 

I think that some of the reasons that this kind of attitude exists is because it is uncomfortable to point out sin even in the gentlest of ways. It has been said that holding aloft the standard of righteousness naturally defines unrighteousness and draws the slings and arrows of those who choose sin over godliness. We most assuredly need to be gentle and discreet when we approach another, to rebuke, reprove, or exhort and as Paul says use great patience, however, be prepared to duck the slings and arrows and do not ever leave your shield of faith, let alone the full armor of God, at home because being Biblically correct means you are going to take a few shots.

Is It A Disease

AddictionI have shied away from this topic simply because it is very volatile, but lately it keeps coming up and I keep having to clarify my thinking to myself and others. If you are easily offended by straight talking and a firm opinion that is seated in the Word of God then this is probably not the post from me you want to read. Here we go.

Addiction-“the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming, as narcotics, to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma.” Nowhere in that definition does it state that an addiction is a disease. I will capitulate that when someone is wrapped up in addiction there is a dis-ease in their very being, but there is no disease. Addiction is a choice each and every time a person ingests their drug of choice they have made a decision. 

For addiction to be a disease there would have to be several things that are true about it. First it would have to be involuntary or a result of a lifestyle habit. Secondly anyone could come down with the disease; two year olds would all of a sudden become alcoholics and 6 year olds would without warning be heroin addicts. Thirdly no matter how deeply buried it is there would be absolutely no ability within the person to change their circumstances by their actions. I know the argument can be made for things like an obese person can correct diabetes, high blood pressure or high cholesterol by losing weight, but it’s a correction not an eradication.

Trust me this declaration does not come easy. It’s only after years of watching a person that I love most in this world struggle to get themselves clean and sober, seeing it happen and many many discussions about it all along with agreement with this person that no matter how we try to pretty it up addiction is a choice.

The world has worked to cover up sin, make it pretty or acceptable and this area is one good example of that. Calling addiction disease is another excuse for the addict to continue in their behavior, and an easy out for the rest of the world to not address the elephant in the room.

We have been spinning our wheels for decades thinking that the processes we have in place are working to arrest the issue of addiction, but if that were true why is there a rise in heroin addiction and death? We as the families pay thousands of dollars for rehab as it stands right now, for which the recidivism rate is 60% and then are surprised that the addict goes back to their old ways. So we try rehab again and it is a repeat of before. Sometimes it works and the addict does stay clean and sober, but relying on sometimes is a dangerous game for us all.

Addicts are chasing the “feel good” because they don’t feel good. There is a hole so big inside them that filling it up becomes an absolute obsession. However, we don’t point them toward God, we point them toward rehab. We all know as believers (at lest I hope we do) that the Word of God never returns void, since that is true then it would make sense that it is the perfect thing along with the love of Jesus to fill up the void in a person’s heart.

In the book of Matthew 11:28-30 Jesus says, “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” The addict needs to know that there is someone else that will carry the burden that they are trying to avoid.  They need to be taught as in the book of Ephesians 4:21-24, “if indeed you have heard Him and have been taught in Him, just as truth is in Jesus, 22 that, in reference to your former manner of life, you lay aside the old self, which is being corrupted in accordance with the lusts of deceit, 23 and that you be renewed in the spirit of your mind, 24 and put on the new self, which in the likeness of God has been created in righteousness and holiness of the truth.” And they need to be made aware from 1 Corinthians 10:13 that there is a way out, “No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it.”

None of this is a perfect solution because we live in meat suits and are tempted each day, but it is better than all the rest and it has a pretty impressive success rate. It’s worth a try.

Modesty

Friendship Together Bonding Unity Youth Culture ConceptLately there has been a lot written about modesty, especially in relation to Christians and about accountability and responsibility. I agree wholeheartedly that we need to be accountable for our own actions and thoughts. In fact personal responsibility is in short supply now a days. Having said that, I think that we take it a bit too far when it is said that it is not our (collectively) responsibility how others react to us if we dress in what we feel is comfortable for the season, most recently the onset of warmer weather.

The argument seems to be that most especially as women we are not responsible for a male’s reaction to our apparel. A man should be able to control himself and not be “turned on” by a woman dressed in what some might consider less than modest clothing. In essence that would be great all things being perfect including all of us, but that is not the case. Both women and men need to be aware of how they look and what they are showing off when considering what the outfit of the day is going to be.

Most assuredly we are to learn to control our thought life as well as our outward life and quite honestly married men should not be looking at other women to see how they are dressed or carry themselves (respectively to wives also). However, A) the whole world is not married and B) according to the book of Romans 14:13, “Therefore let us not judge one another anymore, but rather determine this—not to put an obstacle or a stumbling block in a brother’s way.” Yes I know that in this particular section of Romans Paul is speaking of food and holding one day in higher esteem than others, however he is speaking about the issues that are arising in the church at that time. Well, guess what modesty is an issue in the church at this time.

I am sure that many fathers and even some mothers have said to their daughters who are wearing clothes that either come up to “here” or down to “there”, “You are not going out in that!” As a mother of two sons there have been times that I have said to my boys, “You are not wearing that!” (ok, well most of the time it’s because it didn’t match or it was dirty, but you get the picture). The point is why was it said? It was said because even in the world we know that we shouldn’t be stumbling blocks for our brothers and sisters. Yes, they need to take responsibility for their own actions and reactions, but we as their brothers and sisters in Christ, or the showing them the love of Christ to unbelievers, should not put temptation directly in front of them and dare them to not succumb.

It’s not exclusive to women or girls because their are some inappropriate outfits out there lately for men and boys. I also know that the weather can be excruciatingly hot at times. Trust me, I can sweat standing still sometimes and that’s in the winter cold. The whole point of modesty is to not show others what God intended for private moments in a marriage, and we are not to deliberately tempt one another. In the book of Matthew 18:5-7 it states, “ 5 And whoever receives one such child in My name receives Me; 6 but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to stumble, it would be better for him to have a heavy millstone hung around his neck, and to be drowned in the depth of the sea.7 Woe to the world because of its stumbling blocks! For it is inevitable that stumbling blocks come; but woe to that man through whom the stumbling block comes!” 

Ladies AND Gents, keep all the bits covered and modesty won’t have to be an issue in the church, and there shall be no woe to those from whom it comes.

Muddled Brain

We are in the process of cleaning the house up so that we can move. I can’t seem to get myself motivated to do anything else that is required of me including post here. My focus has narrowed to such a small area that my brain cannot engage in too many other activities. Therefore I ask your forbearance whilst I get my behind in gear and require more of my brain than menial tasks.

I hope this doesn’t take too long….I keep wanting to ask, “Are we there yet?”

Curmudgeon Christian

I think it just might be my day to be grumpy. I haven’t been getting enough sleep and people are beginning to bother me. Ok who am I kidding people bother me regularly I just don’t always voice it. Yes, I know that is the time I need to pray for patience and understanding and on most days I do, but on other days I am more like Jesus overturning tables and being angry that the money changers are defiling MY temple.

One thing that is a constant bother to me, and this is strictly my opinion, are the comments (and those like it), “They just need Jesus” and “Instead, we should be praying for them.” First of all yes, those who are lost DO just need Jesus, but there are times that someone else is needed to help guide them to the love and comfort of Jesus. For instance an addict/alcoholic….this person may have even known Jesus, but slipped away from Him. This person is lost and right now couldn’t find their way to the bathroom let alone back to Jesus. This is when another saint is required to come alongside of them and gently guide them back home all the while giving them tools to help them on their journey. Secondly, I pray for many many people, from those that I know personally, to those that I don’t know, but can see their actions and they do need prayer. However, there are times that even Jesus made a person(s) painfully aware of their behavior. As I mentioned before, the money changers, and even the woman at the well was made aware of her previous behavior. Heck even Peter in Matthew 16:23 was told, “But He turned and said to Peter, “Get behind Me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to Me; for you are not setting your mind on God’s interests, but man’s.”

Jesus didn’t mince words. I will grudgingly admit His words were probably much better than some of the words I come up with, however it still does not mean that Jesus gave people a free pass on bad behavior. I think at times that this is some of what is wrong with this world and why as Christians we are seen as judgmental. We are not consistent with how we handle situations. Too many times we give some things a pass and then others we go in Bible verses blazing, because we are more confident on the rock which we stand.

Who knows maybe I just need another cup of coffee and some time on the shelf to get my act together…..nah it can’t be just me.

 

Serving Two Masters

I didn’t post a blog yesterday. I am not sure it was writers block or intentional rebellion on my part. I sometimes have trouble reconciling that things that bother me and the  discussions I have in my head need to remain there and most especially shouldn’t be posted in a blog like this. I think it’s because I struggle to be in this world and not of it.

In the book of Matthew 6:24 we are told “No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and wealth.” I am not chasing wealth. I will admit that more funds in the bank would certainly help make life easier, but to chase wealth tends to leave you empty and hollow. My issue lies with how to live my life as a Christian and not sin.

I know I know you are probably saying just don’t give into the temptation and more often than not I can accomplish that, but then there are the times where my tongue can run away with me and I say something that its totally not loving and not even reproving in nature, but just plain mean or sarcastic.  In James 3 it speaks of how the tongue can be like a fire and consume even a forest. I think I could manage to wipe out a few forested areas with my fiery tongue. But in the world that kind of speech is ok. To speak to someone in fluent sarcasm is almost expected in some situations. To my shame I can easily fit in.

I have other foibles that could stumble ME not my brother, maybe I will discuss them in the coming days…..come along on my “world tour”.

Prayer

Prayer; it’s something that we as Christians are encouraged to do and it seems that many people pray for everything which would be a good thing, IF we learn to also listen and accept the answer that He gives us.

In 1 John 5:14-15 we are told “This is the confidence which we have before Him, that, if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. 15 And if we know that He hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests which we have asked from Him.” This passage is talking about asking for and praying for everything. Not just the big stuff but the little stuff too. However, where I think a lot of people fail is we don’t ask in His will, we ask in ours.

God gave us free will so that we would come to Him willingly and of our own accord. I know that is a hard concept to understand since we are taught that God has sovereignty over all. He does, but He also allows us to make decisions, He just knows the outcome of each decision. He knows what will happen when we pray and when we ask for things too. I think where we fail as humans is to understand that when we pray we need to align our will with His and learn that sometimes the answer to a prayer is, “NO.”

I am sure we would all like our relative to have perfect healing, or that baby to be born perfect, or that job offer to come through, or that house to become ours and sometimes all those things happen, but sometimes none of those things happen. It stinks at times and it can be very painful, but our God is awesome even in the worst moments when we don’t understand why.

I also think we miss the mark when we pray and the prayers become more about the words than the thought behind it. The most simple and honest prayer is, “Lord please help me!” I don’t believe that God gives more help to those whose prayers go on for 5 or more minutes or who use flowery words, or whose every other word is Lord or Father. He knows our hearts and He knows when we are being insincere, or it is truly the cry of our heart. We as humans make it so much more complicated than it needs to be. Little children when saying their prayers at night have been known to bless the carpet on the floor, but maybe it was because their feet didn’t get cold climbing into bed, or for the juice that they had today because it was their favorite. As adults, we begin to complicate prayer and make it more about the way it sounds to others than the heart behind it.

It’s hard to listen for that still small voice in the whirlwind of the world. It’s hard to stop long enough to hear God’s answer and it’s easy to become busy enough to ignore the no or the not yet. God is the best Father there is and sometimes a great father must say not now or no, but our great Father also gets to tell us yes more times than I think we are even aware of.

I need to learn to pray more prayers of Thanksgiving. Not all my days are rotten and not all of them find me calling out for help. Some days are simply wonderful and other are just fine. It’s in those times that I need to be mindful and thank God for even just a peaceful day sans drama.

Father thank you for getting me through today. It has been shall we say, a day and yet I find myself wanting another one. Help me to be mindful of your presence… oh and by the way could you maybe do something to help the scale move a bit faster in the lose column? Thanks!