Message From ME

messageYears ago I wrote something similar when Sandy Hook occurred and I have resurrected it at times. Today I revised it after reviewing my post from yesterday.

You have chosen to remove Me from, just about, every place where I can most certainly be of service. You have turned away from Me because you can do so well on your own. However,  when a day comes that tests you or if you are a believer, tests your faith, you ask Me, “Where were You God?” I’ll tell you where I was…..I held the hand of the little girl as she lay in a hospital taking her last breath and whispered to her that everything would be OK and that she would be with Me soon. I wrapped my arms around the mother who lost her only child to a violent act and held her while she cried. I strengthened the resolve and provided a way of escape while a man battled temptation and then I watched and placed a hedge of protection around those who protect you and the freedoms you enjoy, those who will face down evil in a country that is not their own, on a street where they fear the next person they encounter will be the one to end their lives, or who run into a burning building to save the family pet.

Yes, I have watched, my heart breaking as a man who is unstable carry out a horror that resided in his head and I made sure that he took only those whom I needed home. I have watched as a young girl took back her will and made the choice to stick a needle in her arm for the last time, and I cried bitter tears as one of Mine chose to come home before My plan for them was completed.

Now in your infirmities and fear you are finally looking to Me and asking everyone to pray. Why now? Why not yesterday, why not tomorrow? But this panic and want for comfort will fade and again you will only remember Me when it gets hard, or you will rail at Me when you don’t understand My plan.

Evil exists in the world you have created and yet many blame Me for the choices of man, wanting Me to stop what you have done. I have asked many times over that you come to Me of your own free will and yet you refuse. You scoff and complain that I don’t exist, that I should not be allowed in the places I can do the most good. My only Son’s birth shall not be displayed because, “not everyone believes in that stuff,” and forget mentioning Me in mixed company because someone might be offended. Then a reminder of the barbarity of the human race, inhumanity is displayed, or corruption begins to brew, and you ask Me “Where are You?” I am here watching and waiting for you to come to Me and making sure that no matter how bad it gets, you can go on.


Birth Pangs

earth-405096_1920So we are told in Matthew 28:6-8, “You will be hearing of wars and rumors of wars. See that you are not frightened, for those things must take place, but that is not yet the end. 7 For nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom, and in various places there will be famines and earthquakes. 8 But all these things are merely the beginning of birth pangs.” If these times are the beginnings of  birth pangs then please someone give us an epidural!

I start each day thinking that it can’t get much worse. That somehow overnight the world will have awakened to the depravity and sorrow that it brings upon itself, and each day I am disappointed a little bit more. In the book of Mark 8:36-37, “For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world, and forfeit his soul? 37 For what will a man give in exchange for his soul?” It’s almost as if our souls are leaking out bit by bit and yet some are not even aware or just don’t care.

The church is becoming complicit in letting quite a few things slide too just so that they can say that Jesus is love and they are showing the love of Jesus. We as Christians should be doing as Paul told Timothy in 2 Timothy 4:2, “preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort, with great patience and instruction.” But yet what seems to be happening in churches all over is more of what Paul goes on to tell Timothy is verses 3-4, “For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but wanting to have their ears tickled, they will accumulate for themselves teachers in accordance to their own desires, 4 and will turn away their ears from the truth and will turn aside to myths.” Ministry leaders, deacons, elders and in some cases are even allowing or letting slide behaviors and choices that go directly against The Word of God because it’s easier or the church needs to be relevant.

When did we move so far away from God and so close to the fiery pit? We were warned and what makes me sad is we are, even as Christians, choosing to be of this world not just in it. (And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect. Romans 12:2)

Free Will

The question of free will has been coming up in my quiet time and in most of the Bible studies I am in. I used to have a great deal of difficulty with understanding free will. I could not wrap my head around the fact that if God knew everything then how did we truly have free will, He knew what we were going to do, so why bother giving us a choice and did we really have a choice to begin with?

Then I began pondering the question further. For argument sake let us say we have free will and the ability to choose. We come to a fork in the road and we make a decision based on the information that we have; here is where our free will and God’s omniscience comes into play. We can choose either fork, but God knows the outcome of each choice. I still wasn’t sure I was on solid ground with this assumption, so I went to a sister in Christ who is also who counsels women who come to the church for help. This lady is full of Godly wisdom and she helped me make sense of what I was pondering. I hope my illustrations can fully explain it to you.

We each make decisions in life and they add up to our experience and help to make us who we are. We also come a to cross-road where we have to decide to zig or zag and the total of those zigs and zags is us. I typed a number that is beneath this blue square.


 I have also typed out a chart consisting of 36 numbers in a grid pattern


I asked a friend to choose a number on the grid


She chose 15. Now think of that number as a major life decision, like what college you are going to attend. Once you have chosen that you have knocked out all the other choices around that one (i.e. other colleges you could attend).


I asked her to choose another number. This would be another life choice like who to marry (#26). Then that would knock out all the other men in her life that she could have chosen to marry out of the running.

We continued on in this vein until we had covered the chart with life choices and knocked out all the other options.

sixthI added all the circled numbers together. 1+10+15+24+26+35=111 and then I revealed what number was under the blue square.

total revealWhen I was shown this it confirmed for me that I did indeed have free will because I made the choices each time I came to a fork in the road (whether I did it prayerfully or in my flesh), but God knew the outcome no matter what choice I made.

It helped me to come to terms with His omniscience. Right now in my precepts study we are in the book of Genesis and we just finished where Adam and Eve chose to eat the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil. This whole exercise helped me comprehend at least a little of the reasoning behind why the tree existed and why we were given free will, but still are made to praise and worship Him. I don’t have it down pat, but I do kinda sort of “get it”.

Yeah still in that whole “work in progress” section of life, but it’s not a bad place to be.